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“I have to,” he heard her say. “But first, there’s one thing you should know. That tattoo you were talking about. I don’t know how you know Eric had a tattoo on his hand, but he did. Only it wasn’t a paintbrush. It was our mother’s name: Louise.”

  “Louise,” whispered JJ.

  “Louise. He wasn’t a bad person, JJ. It’s just that the world shit all over him, you know?”

  “The world shits all over a lot of people,” JJ replied coldly, opening his eyes again to make sure Cara was listening when he said that. “All kinds of people.” Then he remembered something Maggie had said to him once. “You can’t ride on the coattails of your pain your whole life.”

  Cara touched the gravestone again briefly. “I don’t think you have that right,” she said. “It’s not that you can’t ride on the coattails of your pain your whole life. It’s that you shouldn’t.” And before JJ could say or do anything else, Cara turned the gun and pointed it squarely at her own temple.

  And pulled the trigger.

  JJ WAS huddled in blankets in the police station when he finally saw Maggie. She rushed toward him and JJ tried to stand up, but his knees wouldn’t hold him. She grabbed him when he started to sink back onto the chair, and they sank down together, holding each other.

  “Oh my God,” Maggie kept saying. “Oh my God. Are you okay? I finally finish photographing the wedding from hell only to find a phone message from you about how something happened and you’re in a graveyard and I shouldn’t worry because you’ve already called the police and you’re sure they’ll be calling me soon and then I get a message from Detective Starrow saying you were held at gunpoint and they’re taking you to the police station and I should meet you there? And are you okay?”

  “He’s fine, ma’am,” Officer Favor said, walking over to them with Detective Starrow by his side. “Just shaken up.” He smiled at JJ. “But if anyone can handle what he just went through, it’s this kid.”

  JJ held on to Maggie. “Yeah,” he said to the officer who had arrested him, all those months ago. “Yeah. I’m going to be fine.”

  Maggie shook her head. “What the hell happened, JJ?”

  Detective Starrow gave a wry grin. “We’ve actually been waiting on you, ma’am, so he could give a full witness account with a guardian present.” She patted JJ lightly on the shoulder. “And from what we’ve seen and heard so far, I have a feeling it’s going to be one hell of a story.”

  JJ wasn’t all that excited about telling the whole story again, especially when he got to the part about how he decided to go to the graveyard on his own without telling anyone. That earned him some really dark looks from two police officers and an aunt who JJ was pretty sure would soon be grounding him until the end of time. And that look was nothing compared to the one McKinley gave when JJ finally got to tell him the whole story the next morning.

  “You almost got yourself killed,” McKinley growled once JJ was finished.

  “But I didn’t.” JJ frowned. “And I’m really glad, you know?”

  McKinley nodded. “Good.” Then his eyes widened. “Holy shit, JJ,” McKinley whispered. “You know. You know who Tattoo Man was.”

  JJ shrugged. “I guess. I mean, it still doesn’t make any sense, McKinley. Not really. I don’t think it even made any sense to Cara. Not what her brother did, and not what she was doing. I said that to Maggie last night, and she just said it was never going to make sense, ever. Not any of it.”

  “I think she might be right,” McKinley said. “But you’re alive. That part makes sense.”

  Then they were kissing, and JJ knew that much, at least, was true.

  Chapter 15

  BIJOU THEATER FIRE CASE CLOSES

  MOREVILLE—After nearly a decade, the long-standing mystery of the Bijou Theater Fire finally seems to have been solved—somewhat.

  On Monday, police held a press conference to announce that they believe they have finally discovered the arsonist behind the fire. “The fire appears to have been set by Eric Poorchester of Trenton,” Detective Jane Starrow announced at the conference. “Mr. Poorchester’s sister came forward with information connecting Poorchester to the fire just before she took her own life.”

  Detective Starrow went on to explain that the motives for Poorchester’s actions, however, were still not entirely clear. “We know Poorchester’s own mother was killed in a barn fire set by an arsonist, and that the wife of that arsonist was at the Bijou the day Poorchester set the fire,” Starrow stated. “However, why Poorchester chose to end the lives of so many is not entirely known.”

  Police have stressed that anyone with additional information regarding Poorchester should contact them immediately.

  Dr. Ben dropped the newspaper next to his breakfast plate and shook his head. “Incredible. I can’t believe that stupid plan you and your friend concocted actually worked.”

  “Hey!” JJ was indignant. “It wasn’t that stupid. Anyway,” he added, taking a bite of pancake, “it didn’t really work. I mean, Eric Poorchester was already dead. He didn’t come to the memorial.”

  “Yes, but Lucas might never have come back without that memorial… and then there might never have been an art show, and Cara Poorchester might never have overheard you and McKinley talking, and she might never have decided to tell anyone what she knew.”

  Or kill herself. JJ had spent a lot of time listening to people tell him that Cara likely would have taken her own life at some point soon whether or not she had overheard JJ.

  He hoped someday he would believe them.

  “What a crazy chain of events.” Dr. Ben set aside the newspaper.

  Fate, JJ thought. Or maybe just more signs from the universe. He still wasn’t sure he believed in those, though. Dr. Ben shook his head again and signaled the nearest waiter for more coffee. “So. Not that I’m not enjoying our breakfast together, but I’m curious to know what you wanted to meet me at the diner for.”

  “Sure.” JJ straightened up. “I have a… proposition for you.”

  Dr. Ben nodded and wiped his mouth. “Sounds serious.”

  “Kind of. I guess. I want to come live with you.”

  Dr. Ben nearly spit out a mouthful of egg. “Pardon?”

  “Listen, I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out. My aunt’s been putting off her career for me for years, doing what she thought was best for me. I don’t want her to have to wait for me anymore. I want her to be able to go back to working for National Geographic. I heard her and Lucas talking the other night. They’re getting pretty serious, and Lucas was saying that when she went back to work for NatGeo that he’d try to go with her, maybe to sell his paintings around the world or something.” JJ paused. “I don’t want her to have to wait anymore, you know? She deserves the chance to get that life back now. Anyway, I’m pretty sure you need me more than she does.”

  Dr. Ben looked bemused. “You think so, do you?”

  “Yeah. You get it, Dr. Ben. You get me better than anybody, except McKinley. I think everybody should have that—someone who just gets them. Maggie has Lucas now. You had Jeremy… but I kind of get the feeling he didn’t get it. That’s why you guys aren’t together anymore, isn’t it?”

  Dr. Ben studied JJ from across the table. “You are a very astute young man sometimes,” he finally said quietly. “Particularly for someone with such trouble seeing what’s right in front of you.”

  JJ snorted. “You should talk. You don’t see how perfect this is? You’re lonely. You have to be. You just spent Christmas alone, for crying out loud.”

  Dr. Ben frowned. “You really want to do this, JJ? You really want to try living with a hermit like me? Why? You could always ask Darryl, you know, if getting Maggie her old job back is really the big goal here.”

  “Over my dead body. Literally. Patrick and I would probably kill each other. Anyway, that’s one goal here. But I also think it could be a goal that you and I help each other.” He gestured to the paper. “This is bound to keep messing with my head in a big way once I wr
ap the stupid thing around it. And I bet it will mess with yours too.”

  Dr. Ben was silent for several moments before he spoke again. “I have two conditions.”

  “Shoot.”

  “You keep going to AA meetings.”

  “Sure. Easy. McKinley would kill me anyway if I stopped. But… I might slip up.” JJ shrugged. “Nobody’s perfect, you know.”

  Dr. Ben smiled.

  “What’s the second condition?”

  “Well, it’s a strange one. Jeremy and I may not be together anymore, but you’ve probably noticed that he’s still very much in my life. I’ve gathered that the two of you don’t get on perfectly. You’d have to be all right with Jeremy being around a fair amount.”

  That was easy. JJ thought of Jeremy on the day JJ had cried in Dr. Ben’s office, and JJ was glad he’d figured out that things weren’t always as black-and-white as he’d once thought they were. “No problem.”

  THREE MONTHS later, JJ spent his first night in Dr. Ben’s house. He’d just come from an evening at the library with Penny and McKinley, and he was looking forward to hopefully finding an e-mail from Maggie and Lucas, who were traveling to the Middle East the next day.

  He had a dream that night. But it wasn’t the same dream he’d first had all those months ago. And it wasn’t one of the dreams he’d been having since the graveyard—one of those weird convolutions of Cara and graves and guns.

  It was a new dream.

  A smell that wasn’t there before suddenly filled the bathroom.

  JJ drew in a deep breath, trying to match the scent to anything that might already exist in his short memory. It was a difficult scent to describe: like pine trees, but not the real ones in his backyard. More like the smell of the stuff his father used to get the kitchen floor clean.

  He tried to push off the sudden sense of apprehension that filled him; who cared if someone else had also come into the bathroom? This was his town, the small town he had spent his entire five years in, and there was a good chance he knew whoever else had just joined him in the bathroom.

  Even if he didn’t know anyone who went around smelling like pine trees.

  JJ took a few breaths and flushed the toilet, suddenly eager to get back to the movie and his parents.

  As JJ shoved the door of the stall open, though, the scent grew weaker. When he finally wrenched the door wide and stepped out from the door, it was gone. The room was empty.

  JJ woke up smiling.

  Author’s Note

  IT’S NOT easy to write about a character who struggles with alcohol abuse. JJ was difficult to write at the best of times, and his issues with alcohol only made him more complicated.

  The thing about alcohol abuse (especially where teens are concerned) is that it isn’t always easy to understand. What’s the difference between someone who just has a few sips of beer at a party and someone who’s an alcoholic? Why do some people, and not others, end up abusing alcohol? How many teens who choose to drink end up abusing alcohol? There’s a lot of confusing information out there on these topics.

  According to a 2013 publication from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, a 2009 study showed that 10.4 million people between ages 12 and 20 had consumed alcohol within the past month.{1}

  10.4 million. That’s a whole lot of young people.

  So how do you tell if your friend is just having a few sips of beer at a party or if they’re abusing alcohol? If you’re concerned that either you or someone you know might have an alcohol abuse problem, go to the Alcoholics Anonymous website, http://www.aa.org, and check out their publication “A Message to Teenagers.” Take the quiz there to learn more about what alcohol abuse really is.

  And remember—even having a few sips of a beer at a party can be a big decision. JJ started his drinking with a few sips of beer at a party. Always be sure you’re making the decisions that are right for you.

  And if you or someone you know needs help overcoming a problem with alcohol, reach out to the following organizations for help.

  Alcoholics Anonymous

  http://www.aa.org

  Teenage Addiction Anonymous

  http://www.teenaddictionanonymous.org/

  The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

  Substance Abuse and Mental Health Hotline

  1-800-662-HELP

  About the Author

  JOHANNA PARKHURST grew up on a small dairy farm in northern Vermont before relocating to the rocky mountains of Colorado. She spends her days helping teenagers learn to read and write and her evenings writing things she hopes they’ll like to read. She strives to share stories of young adults who are as determined, passionate, and complex as the ones she shares classrooms with.

  Johanna holds degrees from Albertus Magnus College and Teachers College, Columbia University. She loves traveling, hiking, skiing, watching football, and spending time with her incredibly supportive husband. You can contact her at [email protected] or find her on Twitter at https://twitter.com/johannawriteson.

  Also from JOHANNA PARKHURST

  http://www.harmonyinkpress.com

  Also from HARMONY INK PRESS

  http://www.harmonyinkpress.com

  {1} National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, “Underage Drinking.” Accessed March 18, 2014. http://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/special-populations-co-occurring-disorders/underage-drinking.

  Table of Contents

  Title page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Author’s Note

  About the Author

  Also from Johanna Parkhurst

  Also from Harmony Ink Press